Oh, beautiful being..
I don't 'bout chu, but it's been a crazy couple of months for me. And it's coming up to that magical (and damn busy) part of the year. And less than 2 months until the big 2-0-1-7! Say what?!
I'm not going to make any promises but despite the craaay day-to-day of my wonderful life, I have hundreds of ideas for this space and all that I want to do, create and share. So I will continue to be back for more however sometimes you have to go with the ebb and flow of life and with that I've not had a lot of spare time to be present here.
I'm currently bopping (lel, BOP) in my seat as I type, by now, you'd know this is nothing new. The current jam is Mr Mars' new hit, 24K Magic "in the aiiiiiiiiir". Groove LVL 100.
I swear to the magic above there is something so damn catchy about this song. So catchy in fact, I performed a little solo dance at a bar the other night to this song. Something about that sounds raunchy, but I was in a black T-Shirt and jeans. I'm absolutely positive it didn't look as fabulous and movie-like as it sounds. T was probably my only audience and I probably looked like the biggest GOOF, but it was fucking FUN to be in the moment, shakin' my booty and feelin' hella carefree. *now watch me break it down*
On the topic of feeling carefree (oh yes, segue is strong) I've recently been rocking #MAKEUPFREEMONDAY at work, along with a bunch of other beauties I spend my weeks with.
It doesn't sound like much, right?! And now that I've just finished my 5th Monday of being fresh faced, it doesn't feel as much of a big deal as it initially did. But it really freaking is.
For the first time in 10 years of werkin', I'm barefaced and au naturel.
I started working when I was 15, I think it was actually when I was 14 years and 9 months, yeah I was that kid that was waaaay too keen to start sweating it out at a fish and chip shop. Since I started working and even before that, I would always wear some form of makeup. Admittedly when I was younger, I didn't wear much but still felt the need to wear something. And no doubt did a horrible job of applying it, YAS for awkward teen years thinkin' you look fly AF.
With this recent experiment and with my recent talk of wanting to nurture myself through building my self love, I wanted to think back to what triggered my dependance on makeup. Initially when I mentioned that I'd always wanted to do Makeup Free Monday at work to the gals, they were on board immediately, I was secretly freaaaaking out. Holy FUCK, I would be barefaced at work?! I legit felt nervous, like really, really nervous.
When I was younger, pre-makeup days, I was perpetually teased for my freckles. Even now, when I receive a compliment on my sun kisses, I reject it with with stupid talk about how much I hate them.
I'm a rational adult and I know kids can be cruel, dumb and downright horrible. So why am I clinging to the words that clueless 10 year olds spoke to me? Why did I choose to listen to the bullies and not my Mumma and family who told me that I was naturally beautiful?! And they are totes more trustworthy that those idiots!
I remember thinking that one day, "when I'm an adult", I'll get my freckles removed (somehow?!). I remember looking at myself in the mirror hoping that I would grow out of (what I felt was) my ugliness, praying that I would be as pretty as my freckle-less friends.
And as I type this I know it sounds ridiculous but it has (sadly) been my reality. Even despite my wonderful family and T telling me constantly that I don't need makeup, I'm beautiful as-is.
So imma own these old feels and turn it the hell around into some serious self love.
I think a part of me relied on makeup to 'cover up' my freckles and imperfections. As I grew up, left school and entered the big bad world of a full time job when I was 19, the 'need' to wear makeup only became stronger. My job at the time was frontline customer facing, so I felt the need to look presentable. This particular job tested me on many levels, especially as I continued to grow personally and professionally, but I felt that makeup was what gave me my confidence. Days that I wore less, I felt that I lacked power and certainty.
Since my recent experiment, I've disproved that theory, BIG TIME. Sure, I'm in a different job but I still take massive pride in my appearance and feel the need for inner confidence is even stronger than before.
I AM POWERFUL.
I AM CONFIDENT.
I AM FIERCE.
I AM all of the above and more WITHOUT DAMN MAKEUP.
And so are YOU.
#MakeUpFree has not been limited to Monday's, it's been on Tuesday's and Wednesday's and any day that I don't feel like doing my makeup (and am craving a sleep in, because hey, it also saves precious sleep time). I think in the four full weeks since the first makeup free Monday, I've probably gone makeup free 40% of the time.
And you know what, I've received so many heartwarming compliments about my bare lil' face. Genuinely sweet comments about my skin and that I look beautiful just as I am. I've been blown away by the love and I'm slowly learning to see what others see. #workinprogress. I know that is exactly how I feel about the ladies who have joined me in this experiment, each of them look simply gorgeous fresh faced.
Don't get me wrong, I still love doing my makeup and wearing makeup. However, I think I've been able to reach a healthier balance of my love for makeup and the unconditional love of myself. I've been able to clearly define the 'why' behind wearing makeup. And through that I have come to the realisation that I'm still the same person, I still have the same heart and same capability, with or without makeup.
Most importantly I feel as though I'm giving my amazing body a big warm embrace of acceptance and love. I am beautiful, I am strong, I am everything I want to be and more, regardless of what's on (or not on) my face.
I'll always love gettin' glammed and I'll always love beauty indulgence (hello, I can't walk into Mecca Maxima without buying 16 items, when I only went in for 1 thang). For those that know me, know that I love a quick trip to the Mediterranean overnight AKA fake tan, gettin' ma nails did, hurr did or lashes done. I choose to treat ma'self and sometimes having fresh bangs works a world of wonders to put some pep in yo' step.
It is about realising that beauty IS NOT any of that.
Beauty is YOU, as you are right now.
You are beautiful with makeup and whatever beauty treatments that make you feel like a total KWEEN.
You are already more beautiful than ever, because that, my sweetness, comes from your heart. You are radiant in all your natural and fresh glory and I really hope you believe that, because it's taken me too long to start realising this.
Anddd if you're not quite there yet, I am totally with you. But you HAVE to do something to start embracing yourself because this sweet life is too short to be at war with yourself.
Wake up in the morning, admire yourself in the mirror and tell yourself 3 things that you LOVE and that you are grateful for (out loud, baby). Try wearing less makeup, HELL, go makeup free (trust me, it's fucking liberating). Do something, whether it's something small or something outrageous, start moving in the direction of being totally in lurrrve with yourself.
You are incredible and you should feel like that, always.
And one last thought..
"You're a freckle fart from K-Mart"
- Some 10 year old jerk, to lil' old me.
HAH, okay mate. Firstly, what the hell is a freckle fart? And, K-Mart is pretty fucking rad these days, so who's the winner now?!
Radiate that inner and outer beauty, and fucking own it you god/goddess.
Peace out, lovers. I'll be back soon.