Through the Darkness, Shines the Light

So you had a bad day? A bad week? A shitty couple of months? Or a challenging year or two? 

Whatcha gonna do?

Give up? Throw the towel in? 

I hope to hell you ain't! Because you're better than that!

And if you're feeling like that's easier, or you're a bit 'humph' about things, over it or overwhelmed, then keep reading.. Of course if you're feelin' great, then plz stay too! I'm certain there's relevance in this for err'body. 

Sometimes life knocks you down and there are challenges that cause you to stumble around, losing your grounding for a bit. That is okay. 

Most of the time, whether we believe this to be true or not, what happens to us or around us is beyond our control. 

HOWEVER.. What IS in our control, is how we react and pick ourselves up, to continue our journey forward. ESPECIALLY when it feels 'all too hard', and actually, that is the most crucial time to take action. 

Ultimate growth comes from pushing through the glass ceiling, breaking the limits that we set ourselves, that really only exist in our mind. Perhaps, we are our biggest hurdle to overcome? The one thing that is holding us back? 

Now, depending what's going on in your world, I know first hand that can be faaaarrr easier said than done. Trust me. 

Eight and a bit years ago, my Mum passed away very suddenly. Which was the definition of hell. During this time and the years that followed, I also battled my way through an ultra unhappy and extremely unhealthy relationship. Through these emotionally and physically traumatic years, I had piled on the weight, big time. A few years of fighting (or at times struggling), I decided to make a change and lose 30+ kilos, which was another challenge to overcome. 

Between these ginormous life events, came the everyday challenges. From the tiny stuff which is not worth mentioning, and quite unforgettable, to the average sized stuff. From an unhappy work environment where I was bullied and stressed outta my mind. To navigating difficult friendships. Along with the growth that takes place when you let go or move on from the sh*t that no longer serves you. More on those topics as I continue to crack my heart open in this space.. 

Now, this isn't intended to be a moment of glory, although, I really do need to give myself more cred for what I've been through. As I'm sure you do too. Yes, this has been bloody tough and I still have the occasional moment where I'm transported back to the extreme pain I felt during those times. 

It's funny how life works, because, through the darkness I've been through has come SO MUCH DAMN LIGHT. Including, the creation of this space, where I want to (will and do) share my experiences and thoughts on things, with the hope to help someone else out there. 

No, I don't know it all. Sh*t, I realistically don't know much. But what I do know, is that I've been through some crap, like err'body else, and I want to bloody make a change, share some love, shine some light and HELP. And hey, I too have been in some dark times. 

I am raising my hand, actually both hands, heart and soul to say that I AM WITH YOU. I am determined to normalise the not-so-nice stuff that WE ALL experience, but rarely share. To expose the nitty gritty, the dirty and dark aspects of life and the beautifully tragic whirlwind it is and can be. 

One thing I have learnt over the last 8 years, well in reality, I've learnt a bloody lot more than one thing but that's probably a couple of blog posts worth.

What I've learnt, is that we are not meant to go through life unscathed. We're going to get bumps, bruises, scars - both physical and emotional. BUT that is what shapes us unique souls into the humans we are. That is what grows our soul, inspires us to blossom and our heart to expand. With one small (or large) caveat: THE SCARS, BRUISES, BUMPS DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT DEFINE US. Repeat that again. 

We can absolutely wear it as a badge of honour, and so we bloody should, WE DESERVE TO. But we do not hide behind it like a shield. No hiding, not for a second. You owe it to yourself. 

If you're a human being, which I assume you are, unless somewhere outta space other beings have tapped into the world wide web. I know that you have felt pain in your life. You've felt happiness? Heartbreak? Heartache? Loss? Anger? Joy? Excitement? Fear? Frustration? Rage (hello road rage)? Motivation? Sadness? Laziness? Self doubt? And the list goes on.. 

We have ALL been there, at one point or another. Perhaps danced with a few of those emotions a little too long or not long enough. Perhaps they were the result of varying catalysts, or maybe similar events. Irregardless of that, we all know what it feels like to, well, FEEL. 

I have battled a very ho-hum week. I've felt off and kind all over the place, from feeling stressed, overwhelmed, unsure, indecisive, inadequate, with peaks of joy, motivation and determination. This was not how I set out to feel this week, in fact, it's the complete opposite. 

It's felt like and I'm calling it, a soul growth spurt. Because nothing is actually wrong (okay, a few frustrating things), but on the whole, everything is great! However, I've simply felt lack lustre. I'm also feeling there's some intense energy + full moon vibes which are contributing.  

Today I let things really get to me, the super tiny stuff, that I wouldn't normally even notice! I was snowballing down the hill of negative, ready to burst into flames or tears, or both. 

Suddenly I thought to myself, 'holy hell girl, you're better than this, you gotta get this under wraps ASAP'. So I took myself out for a breath of fresh air - a cure to many things, or a short reprieve to feelings of overwhelm. 

As I was starting to feel a little more chill and in control, I then, by complete and utter surprise, found out some INCREDIBLE news. I hate to be that person, but I can't share just yet. Trust me, as soon as I can, I will! Promise!

In an instant, everything turned around. The small stuff had no relevance, I couldn't care less about the sushi I spent $10 on that tasted like balls.

It also reaffirmed SO many things to me including:
- Hang TF in there when the chips are down, cling a little tighter and hold the f*ck on, because things WILL look up in time
- Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe.. 
- TRUST yourself. Trust that you are on the right path, that you are fully supported by the universe
- Sometimes the universe feels like it's dogged ya, but it hasn't. It's just busy preparing other things for you, far better than you could ever imagine or plan
- You are without a doubt capable of ANYTHING, including pushing past the limits or expectations you place on yourself
- It's okay to have your down moments, but as above, hang in there baby because it's gonna be okay

I have an abundance of words flooding my mind as I continue to write this post, there is so much I feel drawn to share. I frequently have to remind my excited self, especially in these word abundant moments, that there will be time to share more. 

So if you've not been feelin' it. It is actually okay. Repeat after me again: It is okay. If you're hard on yourself, like I have the tendency to be, then loosen up a little. Some days you're not going to kill it as planned, and you have to adjust accordingly. 

If you're experiencing a tough day, or a challenging time in your life, this is your reminder that you are not alone and that this too will pass. You are stronger than you can even begin to imagine. Show yourself some empathy, take some time out for YOU. 

I'm here with you. If you feel called to reach out, I would love to hear from you.

Also know that there are professionals out there too, who can be of great guidance and support. 
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636

Here's to normalising the not-so glam, to being our authentic selves and supporting each other.
I got chu, I got me, we got dis. 






Steph Doyle